The annoying Security Guard

ARRRRREEEEEF is the most annoying security guard in the history of the world. His most annoying habits are:

1. --- He smacks his lips after he speaks a sentence. It's a loud annoying click of the tongue that makes me wonder if he has peanut butter wedged on the top of his palette.

--- After he finishes a sentence, that usually takes a normal person less than a minute to utter, he smacks his lips, and gives you a "Matter of fact" gaze. The gaze itself lasts longer than it took to speak the freakin' sentence, which means the whole time from sentence, to smack of lips, to "freaky stare" equals roughly 10 minutes.

--- He makes his own special Tea that smells like dirty gym socks. As he drinks his tea, he makes an obnoxious slurping noise. It makes me cringe. This goes on until the entire cup is empty. Usually about 20 minutes.

--- He complains of a medical condition in which he must have a bottle of water with him at all times. It's called, Get a fucking IV then.

--- He logs every bit of communication between myself and store personnel on a little note pad. After he types out the day to day activities he request a sit down with myself and the store manager as well as him, and wants me to fire everybody and keep him.

--- He cries when his highlighter stops working and when people blame him for pissing on the toilet seat.

--- He is 40 years old and pouts.